I don't know what the effin hell to call this post.

"So the more things remain the same, the more they change aster all - plus c'est la meme chose, plus ca change. Nothing endures, not a tree, not love, not even a death by violence."

- "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles. Page 14. 2nd paragraph. 3rd-4th line.

This, maybe, will be one of those other unorganized blog post of mine. I don't know what happened to me. I just had the feeling that I have to go online and post something, anything! But what will i post?

I've been stuck in this house for days. Actually, a week! And who would've thought I'll still be sane with a week or more of being grounded without my cellphone. Yes! My cellphone. I'm actually not allowed to use the computer too, but as always, I do what's not supposed to be done.

The book, A Separate Peace, made me remember a long abandoned friendship. A 12 year long friendship that love for the same sex ruined it.

Dia, she was my best friend. We've been together for God knows how long. She's a lesbian, and I'm just boyish. We grew up together. She introduced me to a lot of people, including my 4-years-in-the-making love story with a classmate of hers. And then, POOF! Comes the girl of her life. She turned her back on me because of that girl.

Change.

Jonas, a neighbor, he was a good friend. A really really good friend. I don't know what happened. My 11 month long relationship went crashing down in front of me. He was there. Jonas was there to comfort me along with the others. Then things started to get cold between us. I don't know why, what happened?

Change.

Dood. Last night, I had a chat with him via "ym". Some things happened beforehand that is absolutely my fault, And I was sorry for everything I've done. Really sorry! I understand why he got mad at me, and I bet he's still mad at me. I cried that night for all hell's reason. It affected me. He's my dood! For all time's sake! And what he says matters to me, whatever his views on things matter to me. HE matters to me. And that said "things", I've had ignored him. I didn't listen to anyone that "thing".
I should've listened. I should've went home, and maybe, just maybe, I can still go out, still use my phone.

Mosh. My boyfriend. I know our relationship had been hard since day 1. But the hell he cared about it. He says he loves me and I believe it. (*Oh well, whatever happened to, "trust kills chloe you silly bitch." haha!*)

And the rest of the old good friends and loved ones who's still here with me. My ALL TIME BESTFRIENDS, faura girls, sixzters, or is it sexysters now? Haha! Whatever my highschool pals call it now, we're still bestfriends. Haha! And I friggin' love you all hunny!

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I went gaga over some teen's dream of romance and lost my sanity for a moment or two.

I lost things, people who were and will always will be dear to me. I almost lost what there still is with me. And I don't want to lose them.

I don't want to lose my friends, those real friends who stood by me. Those friends that I call my 2nd family.

I don't want to lose my family. My family had been there for me, that for all my life I know won't turn their backs on me.

I don't want to lose the last of sanity, for if I lose this, I wouldn't be able to keep what I don't want to lose.

AKO ANG DAKILANG TOKWA NG CAVITE.

*bow*